


I ain't a princess

by She_who_writes_stories



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Naruto left but came back, Prostitute Naruto, Secret Organizations, first fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8791039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/She_who_writes_stories/pseuds/She_who_writes_stories
Summary: Naruto was kidnapped at the early age of 6, the night after his first day at the academy, sandaime hokage sent an anbu team to search for him, they return empty handed. The villagers celebrated the death of the demon.6 years later, a blonde boy walks up to the hokage tower.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Naruto.  
> First fic, opinions and ideas are welcome.  
> Any hating can be kept to a minimum please.

The hokage sat in his chair, looking at this years academy's graduating class roster. He sighs knowing that at the bottom of that list there was a name missing. If he hadn't failed at his job, the name "Uzumaki Naruto" should have been present on it, but his successor's son had disappeared after his first day in the academy, "6 years,' he thought,'I lost your child 6 years ago.'

He sighs in the knowledge that it is next to impossible to survive in this world alone at the age of 6, being kidnapped most likely meant death as well. The boy was probably dead, though this rediculous hope that he survived half his life without help persisted even after all these years. 

'He would have been a genin this year, if he passed the exam' he thought to himself, musing over how much of a prankster the boy had been. chances are the smiling kid would have been last in his class. The boy had had an odd obsession with ramen and the colour orange. The old hokage never figured out why

A knock on his door, woke his from his reverie. A female anbu walks in and kneels. "An.. Unexpected person has come to the village, hokage-sama," the rabbit masked anbu hesitated,"... He asked to meet you."

'Who would make her hesitate like this,' he amused himself thinking, the masked woman never seemed to be surprised or this lenient to strangers," bring him in," he orders, curious of who would unsettle his Anbu like this. They were trained to be ready to fight anything and protect the village ruthlessly

She disappeared behind es the door, only to open it again, behind her was a boy with blonde hair and the bluest eyes, walking confidently with a little swagger to his step that only certain kunoichis had. He knew who it was as soon as the boy looked at him.

The boy gave a little smile,"hokage-jiji"

"Naruto."  
\-----------------------------------------------

POV Naruto

Walking up the to the gates of konoha was the oddest thing he'd done in a while. Being up during daylight hours was weird too. 

'After 6 years under "them", you'd think you've seen everything,' Naruto thought.

'Ha! Look at that idiots face! The hairless monkey looks like he shat his pants!' The fox in his head laughed.

'Kurama!'

'What kit! It's true!'

Naruto smiles at the images coming from his biju. The two chunin at the desk did look rather frightened. It was years ago that they ended the hostility towards one another and they quickly became close. Now the fox was the closest thing to family the boy had.

'I'm not a kit, haven't been for a while remember?' he reminds the fox 

'That is true but til you're not a midget anymore you're a kit to me' replied the fox, sounding almost sad,'someone's coming'

Naruto turns around to see three anbu appear in front of him. "Hi can you take me to the hokage?"

They all still. 

"Umm.. I'm Naruto.. I was born here and was on a trip for the last half a dozen years or so"

The lady with the rabbit masks kneels to my height, "..N-Naruto Uzumaki.. That's you?"

"Yeah?"

"Come with me."

They start to walk down the street,'this'll take too long'

"Hey, isn't it faster jumping on roofs?"

The rabbit mask woman looks at him. Then shrugs and jumps to the nearest roof, he follows behind her. He could see a good part of the village from here, it hadn't changed at all.

Arriving at the tower, he was led up to the hokage's office and told to wait there. Then the woman opened the door and he walked in behind her.

The shocked look on his grandfather figure's face when he walked into the hokage's office was priceless, he couldn't help the little smile escape his lips as he called his name. The hokage called his name like it was impossible.

"I'm back," I say, stating the obvious, since the poor old man looked like he'd seen a ghost.. ' I guess he kinda did since they celebrated my death here already..' He thought.  
' what the hell kinda of ninja village celebrate s death whithout a body, that's just asking people to fake their deaths to ho under cover.' A voice said from inside his head.

'Shh, kurama I'm trying to talk to hokage-jiji!' The fox chuckles and rolls up in a ball to nap.

" how?" The old man asks, " where'd you go? Why couldn't we find you? Who stole you?!"

" whoa! I can only answer one at a time jiji!" I giggle a little to lighten the mood, seriously you could squash an elephant with how heavy it was. It Worked a little, the air now breathable. 

" who took you?"  
" I left by choice."  
The air was heavy again

\-----------------------/----------------------/

POV Hokage 

 

"What?" He looks at the boy in disbelief 

"I left the village by choice.. Well sorta by choice."

'Why would he..'

"Jiji, the people here hate me, the parents hate me therefore the kids hate me,so do some of the ninja, but they tend to stick to ignoring me instead of beating me. How do you expect me to learn anything in and environment where the teachers won't help me?"

"They wouldn't sabotage a child!"

"...jiji, I spent my first and only day in the academy tied to the furnace in the basement, my sensei tied me there while he was supposed to bring me to my class since I didn't know where it was. Then another teacher came with my school bag and burnt ally pre-academy work while telling me that demons don't get to be ninjas, the only reason I got out was the that my biju prisoner didn't want to die so he kept healing me while the rope slowly burnt. It wasn't the first time something like this happened in the village either, but usually it was only civilians not ninja."

The hokage's face drained of blood. 'kami.. What did they do to him, he acts like it's.. normal.. Wait he knows of the seal.. That's not important at the moment, what's mo important is,'  
"Where'd you go?"

'isn't that an easy question.' Naruto thinks, the fox chuckles in the back.  
"I was out training!" Naruto grins his best 'idiot grin' and watched the hokage's eyes sharpen from pity to suspicion.

"With who as a sensei?"

"Well, I had looked up the origins of ninja in the library, under a henge of course, which kurama, the fox, taught me, and I found out that prostitiutes were the first! So a bunch of stuff happened and Soo. Here I am?" I pull my shirt up and turn so he can see the tattoo at the small of my back.

The anbu in the room gasp, and the hokage'ss jaw drops, "no"

"Yup! Full fledged Nighthawk at your service!"


	2. Chapter 2

Nighthawks, originally a ring of high class prostitiutes and assassins, is now an organization that has no borders, they deal with all nations indiscriminately, throughout ninja history, nighthawks have had a hand in every war. A nighthawk specializes in one of 4 sectors, seduction and intelligence , assassination, interrogation, or kill Justus . As the tradition goes they accept one person from every ninja village and train them in their arts till they are up to the masters standards or for 12 years. The most recent konoha student being Kurenai Yūhi, who only come back last year,having failed. She was on the jonin sensei roster since the training had left her unable to go into anbu. The last nighthawk of konoha dated back to Satuki Uchiha, who would have been Sasuke's great aunt, who had died in the third shinobi war taking out an army of sand ninja. No ones ever managed to infiltrate the organization and a nighthawk will die before they give out information. Those who failed the final test, had their memories of their time erased with permanent fuinjutsu. To the nighthawk, secrets are sacred, told only to others under blood oaths.

POV Hokage

A nighthawk had the most power after the hokage, Naruto had become the strongest in such a short period of time.. " What did you specialize in?"

Naruto looked alittle sheepish at the question, put his hand behind his head and smiled," kinda funny actually, I couldn't decide which one I would be best at, so I didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"I didn't pick one, I mastered all!" He grins, behind him an Rabbit looks ready to fall over, "so jiji? What's next?"

"Well Naruto, we have options here, you can go into Anbu or.."

"Can I be a genin?" Naruto cuts him off.

"What?"

"Well all the others said that their genin days were fun, so I wanted to see what it's like! Oh and can we keep it a secret that I'm strong so that we can laugh about it later? I can pretend I'm really dumb and then I'll kick all their asses!"

"Sure thing Naruto," hokage chuckles, 'he hasn't changed much after all he's been though. He's still our Naruto'  
Naruto heads for the door, "well I'm beat jiji, I'm gonna find a place to settle, see ya!"

"Naruto, show up at the academy tomorrow at 9," the old man says," and also.. Welcome home Naruto."

Naruto looks back and smiles.

\----------------------------------------------- POV Naruto 

' You lied' the fox stated to him.

'Did not, I just kept a secret.'

'Kit, you acted like an idiot and didn't tell him about anything.'

Naruto's facial expression went emotionless, ' I couldn't have told him the truth now could I? He could hand me to Danzo for all I know'

'He wouldn't kit'

'That kind of blind trust got me into trouble too many times for me to even begin to believe we're safe here, you know why we're here'

'Of course I do monkey, it's just not healthy to be alone in this world'

'The one who held a grudge for almost a century is talking to me about unhealthy habits? Anyways I got you'

'Kit..'

'No Kurama, I refuse to be backstabbed again, end of story.'

'Fine'

Naruto makes his way through the village where he heard the whispers spend like wildfires in dry fields. He decides that these people aren't worth his care, so he doesn't bother to look at them.

"..it's back","demon..","why?", "thought it was dead"

'You'd think they'd get over it, no?'

'Grudges last a long time'

'Right'

He sees a ramen booth that he remembers from when he was 6. He walks up to it and enters. "1 bowl of miso ramen please,"

"Coming right up," the man says,' ichiraku, old man ichiraku,' Naruto remembers.

The old man turns around, serves the bowl and looks at the boy. He drops his laddle."Naruto!"

"Hey old man!" Naruto grins,"I'm back!"

"Ayame!"

"Yes?" The young woman poke her head from behind the doorway, she gasps, and in a heartbeat she's around the counter with her arms around the boy," I knew you couldn't have died!"

Naruto laughs," Of course not! How could I without reaching my goal?"

"Still want to be Hokage?" She asked

"Nah, I wanna be strong enough to protect my precious people." Naruto stated.

"That's a good goal, where have you been?"

"Around"

"It's good that you're back"

"Yeah and I get to be a genin! If I pass the exam that is."

Ayame smiles and hugged him tighter before letting him go and going to help her father. " so You're going to be a ninja?"

"Yup"

Ayame has been like an older sister to him back before he left, making sure he ate everyday and was one of the only people in the village that didn't hate him, she treated him nice. She and her father were one of the few precious people he had in the village. He'd protect them from everything.

After eating and talking to the Ichiraku family for hours, It was late afternoon and Naruto left to find a place to campout for the night, once he's a genin he'll get his own place but for the next few days staying in the woods seemed safer.

Looking out at the stars from his perch on the big tree in training ground 44, Naruto listened to the sounds of the forest and gently got lulled to sleep.


	3. Genin?

POV Naruto 

Naruto wakes up at dawn, the hum of slowly waking animals rousing him from sleep. He takes out a scroll and unseals a set of clothes for the day, as well as some ration bars for breakfast.

He changes from his "civilian" travel clothes, which had consisted of a burnt orange t-shirt, a navy sleeveless hoodie and a pair of tan shorts with large pockets to hide a few weapons in, to his ninja wear.

His signature look consisted of a pair of tight shinobi pants, an orange so dark it looked almost brown, that had been altered so that slits showed strategic amounts of skin to entice, ending at the calfs. Orange bandages that were rapped around his torso and chest, sandals, and a dark blue reinforced silk kimono shirt which was cut for a woman but gave him the illusion of curves. The neck line open low showing off the bandages but coming back together to be secured at the waist by a light blue sash, the shirt ending at right bellow his butt but hanginf a little lower in front. He actually had quite a few accessories: bracelets on each arm, a each ear pierced twice on the lobe and a cartilage piercing on the left ear.

All in all, the outfit made him look almost delicate, his tan skin, paired up with His blonde hair streaked with blood red, kept long and untamed not unlike a certain white haired Sanin, made him glow in the morning light. His wisker marks and elongated canines making him look wild. He looked like a wild nature spirit, trying to entice it's prey before attacking it.

Ready for the day, Naruto sealed back is things into their proper scrolls and those scrolls sealed into his ear piercings and bracelets. He went through a few easy katas as a morning stretch and left the forest to go to the academy.

Running through the forest he hears the familiar clank of kunai hitting trees. He detours towards it and stops to observe the scene.

The boy had black hair and eyes that matched, he was concentrating hard, throwing kunai after kunai, on the collar of his shirt was a red and white fan.

'Uchiha, Eh? Must be His baby brother' naruto thought.

'Aw fuck, I swear if we have to go near that demon monkey I'll eat him!' Kurama threatened.'The only good Uchiha is a dead Uchiha.'

'Oh please, their not all bad.'

'I'll believe it when I see it.'

'Anyways, looks like the standard for passing to genin is really low in this village, they haven't even been blooded and I bet their all virgins. My info web says little Uchiha is top of his class and his accuracy at 10 meters is only 80%. Stamina wise, he gets winded after 15 minutes of running, and muscle power... It's pitiful, chalks reserves aren't all that bad but still pretty small, all in all he's weak, helpless and he looks like he needs a shitload of therapy.'

'You were pretty pitiful yourself you know kit'

'Yeah but I was 6 at the time and you and I remedied that real quick, and I was never that unstable'

'True, I've never seen a stable Uchiha, but this one is on another level.'

The Uchiha stopped throwing, picked up his things and left.

'Guess it's time to go,' 

\------------------------------------------ 

At the Academy

Iruka POV

the boy walked through the doors, iruka almost dropped his paper, gaping at what couldn't be the genin hopeful the Hokage had asked him to escort to the classroom for the exam. The boy didn't look his age, he was smaller than average but he wasn't chubby with baby fat like most kids.

What struck him was the familiarity of the boys face. Something about the blonde hair and the big blue eyes re minded him so much of... Then it hit him.

'The demon container! The kid's the nine tails container,' he remembered,'but he looks so innocent! I guess the rumours are wrong, he really is just a poor orphan.'

"Excuse me, do you know where I could find Umino Iruka-sensei?" The boy asked him.

"Uh, that's me, you're taking the exam? Without going to the academy? Did you have a private instructor?"

The boy giggled," Iruka-sensei, if you ask so many questions, I can't answer!" Yhe boy gave him an adorable smile," But speaking of exams, isn't it time to take it soon?"

'This kid's adorable!' Iruka thought,' I can't believe I once thought he was dangerous.'

\-----------------------------------------------  
Back to Naruto POV

'That was wayy too easy' he thought about the teacher who got him from the entry, 'all I had to do was hide my ears, talk sweet and smile abit and he was like putty!'

'Don't forget the doe eyes you gave him'

'Foxy, you wish you could do that'

'I'm a predator. I don't need the doe eyes' 

Naruto smirked and looked at the teachers who was now evaluating the kids on tai jutsu. Naruto didn't see anything special in any of the civilian families, and the ninja clans weren't spectacular either,the few who interested him was the bug kid who fought seamlessly with his kikaichu, the lazy pineapple head that didn't waste a single movement though that seemed more out of laziness than anything else, and the Uchiha who was vicious in his fight though the screaming girls annoyed the hell out of Naruto, whose own spar lasted a minute and a second only because Naruto didn't attack for the first sixty seconds.

The written part of the exam was too easy and Naruto finished within the fisrt half hour.

'I'm starting to doubt the system kurama, are they training ninja or canon fodder? What kind of self respecting ninja dosent know about killing pressure points, which countries don't have ninja, or the feudal lord's family and who they talk to!'

'I've always thought that the monkeys were weak.. Not teaching them how to kill.. That's basically sabotaging them from the get go'

'I believe they're sensoring what it is we do for the civilian kids, but that's like how they advertise how being Hokage is an amazing job that protects everyone,  
when really it's a fuckin desk job'

After the test it was ninjutsu exam where they tested you're Henge, kawarimi, and bunshin. All the clan kids got it and a good portion of the civilian kid did too, the Uchiha, Sasuke, got worshiped by the banashees when he went up, and every stupid E rank jutsu raised the decibels in the room. 

'Foxy, what are they... These banshees can't be human...'

Kurama paws at his ear,'hell if I know'

Then it was his turn, he walked down the aisle and the whispers were rampant, "Isn't that the kid we were s'posed to ignore our first year.. ""And then he disappeared," they continued the not so whispered conversation, even the other two teachers had realized who he was. One murmured "demon.." While the other just gaped.  
Iruka-sensei,on the other hand, stayed very professional. 'I like him' Naruto decided.

"Uzumaki Naruto-kun, please preform the three Justus." Iruka-sensei said.

So he does, without hand seals, but with Kage bunshin instead, since bunshin don't take enough chalkra even with his level of control, there just too useless for Naruto to bother.

With glaring eyes the two other teachers say pass, Iruka-sensei smiles says pass and hands him a hitai-ate.

He turns to his seat, only to be stopped by two of the screeching girls.

"Hey, who do you think you are! Coming here without being in the academy and doing all the tests. You were just a stupid kid we're suposed to ignore, you think getting a little stronger will change that?" Banshee blonde demands.

Banshee bubble gum continued,"Yeah, Sasuke's way better than you! He's an Uchiha and the strongest in the class and I'm gonna marry him one day, so stio being stupid baka!" Then they started screeching at each other on who will marry "Sasuke-Kun"

....'they're retarded?'

'Their voice screeches must be a justu.. That can't be natural' the fox complains.

" Sakura, Ino sit down and be  
Quiet!" Iruka-sensei demanded. Naruto only smirked and raised a brow at the fuming girls as they go to sit, glaring at him with their chibi faces.

"Alright! All of you that passed be here at 9 tomorrow morning for team assignments!" Iruka-sensei called out then going into a speak about protecting the leaf and the will of fire. Naruto was eager to leave, 'today was stupid ' he decided,'why did we want to be genin again?'

'Because someone made a stupid promise and we got Intel that the fucking pedo snake is on the move.'

'Oh yeah that's right, well at least I'll be on the right team, that exam count only as the pass or fail, the grade average of the last two years do the ranking so I'm at the bottom of the class. Therefore I'll be with emo king wether I like it or not'

'Pffft... Emo king.. Suits him'

With his speech done the sensei dismissed the kids. Naruto left for the forest training grounds to train. 'I'll need to train in secret, and pretend to be maybe low chunin at least cause genin is just pitiful.'

Going through a crap ton of strength training exercises, while planing out the barrier he was going to set up here was a great relaxation technic.

After the exercises, he does set up the barrier and decides that he dosent want an apartment in town because it's to much trouble and civilians had a habit of breaking in, with his traps it could be dangerous for them.

So he sommons fifty cloned and the built a tree fort in the forest, 'I sure am living any kids dream.' The fox laughs inside.

Once done, it was dusk so Naruto hunted in the forest, picked up a few edible plants in the way back and cooked himself a great supper. He slowly unpacked his stuff and made himself comfortable, creating a pipeless water system with fuinjutsu, seals were amazing. Same with room heating seals and light bulb seals. They took little chalkra and lasted up to two weeks on the amount of chalkra it took to make a kage bunshin, heavy for most people but it was nothing for Naruto. Having warded the place like the paranoid ninja he is, it was next to impossible to get in. Satisfied with the day's work, he went to bed, ready for what the next day would throw at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess 3thousand word chapters was ambitious for a first story, but I think I can keep it consistently at 1000 words, for now at least.  
> Comments always welcome!!


	4. Team seven

'Damn it Kurama, don't send your freaken dreams over to me when I sleep. They're fucking disturbing!'

 

'hell it's not like I can help it, since the merge, your connected to me on a spiritual level, I don't really feel like controlling  my subconscious so you just have to deal,'the fox pouts.

'at least dream about something normal!' 

'They are normal!'

'dreams about eating people and what kind of ninja gives you indigestion is NOT normal.'

'could be worse I could purposefully send you dreams of your parents humping like bunnies. I was there, I know exactly what happened in their bedroom.'

'Don't you dare you overgrown cat!'

'fuck you fishy'

'we promised not to talk about that!' Thinking about the time he pranked the master, and in return was drenched in fish slime, he'd been semi scared of felines ever since the incident. Master gave as good as he got, half of Naruto's paranoia came from him alone.'thanks Kura.'

'yeah yeah'

this had been routine for them for a long time, spending 6 years in a deadly organisation didn't leave him without his scars, though his weren't visible. The boy had been plagued with nightmares of the training and missions since his first mastery, interrogation mastered at the age of 9. He had picked it because he was tired of being left in the dark. What he had learnt had sped up the learning process by years, getting the information on how to do Kage bunshin and spamming them as a  learning tool making what should have taken a normal student at least 6 years to master one speciality, took 3 for Naruto to specialize one without bunshin and 3 years to master the other three. 

The best part of his time there was the surprise he got when he learnt that a few of the elder masters were from Uzushio, so he had learnt a lot about his heritage, he became a seal master during his stay as well.

'Kit, we gotta go.'

'I know,' getting ready in no time at all, Naruto goes to the academy for hopefully the last time, 'that place is almost as bad as the orphanage was.'

Once in class, Naruto sits next to the Emo King to really get to feel him out and his reactions to strangers. As expected he 'Hns' like all Uchiha and turned to face the window.'Might as well try'

"Hi there, I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I Know we just became genin and that we don't have much time, but can we be friends?"

The dark haired boy just ignored Naruto, which annoyed him to no end since the back of his head looked like a..

" Duck-Butt, it's rude to ignore people."

The Uchiha head turns fast and he glared at the blonde,"What did you just call me?" But it didn't sound as venomous as it should have. 'I guess he isn't as stuck up at I thought'

"Well, you didn't tell me your name so I went with what I saw, which was the back of your head, which looks like the rear end of a duck, hence, Duck..Butt..."

Behind them, a brunette with pineapple hair snickers," that's Sasuke Uchiha, don't mind him, he's always like that. I'm shikamaru by the way." 'Huh the Nara has a sense of humour. Hope he's as smart as the village boasts'

"Well I thought i might as well try, since I'll be on a team with The-Brooding-One here."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, a twitch or a smirk playing at his lips, ' definitely not as broody as I thought' , Shikamaru ask how he knows.

" Well that exam only counts as a pass or fail system so grade wise I'm dead last, but im betting lord-Sasuke-the-teme is top of the class according to the vulture-banshees screaming his name"

The Uchiha hned, the Nara nodded in understanding, "pretty accurate description of them," almost unnoticeably, the dark haired boy shuttered. 'Poor kid I'd be scared if the banshees were running after me too'

As if summoned by the devil, the two bright haired girls from yesterday entered and b lined straight for him.  
"Idiot! Leave this spot right now! I want to sit next to Sasuke-kun!" Pinky screeches. Naruto looks at Sasuke to see how he reacts, he does a tiny flinch and sends him eyes that if he hadn't known any better he would have missed it, but he did so he saw the silent plea for help. Naruto winked at him to reassure the boy that he had his back, Sasuke untended a bit. Naruto turned to the girls, " oh sure, I'll move, just give me a sec," he says with a pleasant smile, the girls smirk like they were expecting that answer, Sasuke tenses again, Naruto put his stuff in a pile, then pushed it right next to Sasuke's, they all looked confused,'ha! Can't wait to see their faces!', Naruto stood in the space inbetween his and the other boy's chairs, turned quickly and sat on the Uchiha's lap.

"There, the chair's all yours, right Sasuke?" Naruto pushed some of his bangs out of the way, mischievous glint in his eyes. Sasuke ups his eyebrow again but stays silent, he does put his hands on Naruto's hips and Naruto winks again, Sasuke's cheeks show the faintest of blushes but looks away to the window. 'Ha! He swing for guys! Well I'd be too scared of girls if my only options were the screaming ones here, I wonder what's with the broody mask he keeps up?'.

'Probably trying to ward off the screaming monkeys' Kura answered

Next to them the blonde girl blushes but looks at them with wonder instead of outrage, she looked like she was dissecting them both and liking was she saw 'today, a yaoi fan girl is born!', on the other hand, pinky looked like she was ready to murder. "Get off of Sasuke-kun you idiot!" She screeched as she grabbed Naruto's arm to pull him off, and that's where he drew the line. In a blur of movement, he held pinky in a one armed head lock and held a kunai to her throat with the other.

"You do not touch someone who can kill you, without asking, pinky, that's just asking to die, do you want to die?" Naruto asks her in her ear, she's as stiff as a board and she's trembling like a leaf, he shakes her a bit and asks again, "do you?" Obviously he wasn't going to kill her, but she needed a serious reality check and to leave the poor Uchiha alone, so scare tactics it was.

She shakes her head, he lets her go and sits back in his chair. "Good now leave us alone." Walking slowly this time Naruto sits back in his seat. He hears Sasuke whisper a breathless "thank you" and I give him a goofy smile in return. 

The scarred nosed teacher came in right then and screamed, "Ino, Sakura, go sit, it's time for team assignments!"

Then he proceeded at naming all the teams, the first four teams were still in rotation, team five was a civilian team bound to fail, six was minor clan kids.

"Team seven, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki," Sasuke released a breath, "and Sakura Haruno" the squeal they heard could have come straight from hell. Naruto felt his blood ice and he swore he heard Sasuke whimper, but it could have been anyone. He turned to see pinky's, who he now knew as Sakura, eyes basically stripping the poor Uchiha. 

"It's a match made in heaven! True love will always prevail! Me and Sasuke will marry one day!"

Even the sensei looked disturbed, but he continued," your sensei will be kakashi Hatake."

'Noo way.. Copy cats' our sensei? He's famously lasy, hasn't passed any genin and has an attitude the size of shukaku!'

'And.. His summons are dogs.. Nothing good can come from dogs.' The fox grumbles. 

'You're being biased and you know it foxy, but seriously? Kakashi? He won't remember but I've Met him before! Even for an anbu he was depressing and moody, you don't just move in on someone's kill like that!.' Remembering the time he had to hunt missing-nin for money, the only way to get money in the night Hawks. The angsty dog masked Anbu had tried to take his kill because of a stupid mission, Naruto obviously wasn't going to just give him the ninja he'd been trailing all day and had injured, so he'd left the silver haired ninja a few nasty traps that didn't kill, but we're diabolical in their own way. The bitchy twenty year old had complained the whole way to the office where Naruto had picked up the bounty before giving him the head. 'He takes a joke from a kid way too seriously'

´yeah but you were under a henge too.'  
True Naruto had henged himself while on missions, too many questions were asked when an 8 year old would go and ask for bounty money.

By the time he was done his mental chat with foxy, all the other teams had been called. The teacher had just called lunch. Senseis would come pick them up when class resumed.

 

"Sasuke, you're eating with me." He tells him. The Uchiha nods slightly before he Hns and follows him out of class. "Where's Sasuke-kun?" "Let's go find him!" "Yeah!" they here the fan girls cheer.

"Hold on a sec." Naruto say as he pulls them into an empty class room. He calls up a shadow clone and henged it as Sasuke. The clone nods and leaves the room. They wait a second, "look there he is!" Then that hear a hoard of girls stampede past them, the both sigh in relief. "The roof?"  
"Yeah"

So there they are on the academy rooftop eating their lunches, "hey mind if I set a privacy barrier?" Naruto asked, Sasuke nodded. Once set up, he explained that he didn't like people listening into his conversations, Sasuke thanked him and took a deep breath. Then his personality did about a 180 degree flip, the boy all of a sudden was real talkative and they ended up talking about Sasuke time in the academy and how stupid girls were. "So I thought Uchiha were all broody and spoke in grunt?"

"Well yeah, most did, but I didn't until the massacre, but then I decided that I had to salt like an Uchiha if I wanted to keep my rights, you see, my brother warned me beforehand of what would happen, my family weren't good people, they were planning an attack on the village, and the way they treated their children was awful as well. My brother was the only one I cared about, he amazing like that, he killed them on the secret orders of the hokage, and now he's left because the hokage didn't tell the village since they are better to be kept in the dark, thoughts about civil wars races them, hokage thinks I don't know either. My brother told me to watch for the council, and was he ever right, the council was all on my case because of psychological trauma,blah blah blah, they wanted the Uchiha wealth because a kid can't take care of himself,so I started acting like the most typical Uchiha and they left me alone, I get super coddled by them because I'm the last loyal Uchiha lalalala, but I know they just want my babies and to control my eyes once I wake them up, so here I am all broody and moody but really I know how to talk an ear off, my brother said so. We keep in touch through his crow summons"

'Holy octopops, he can talk! And he knows! That's one hell of a brother complex. The only one that's bigger is itachi's. And why does he trust me so much!'

"You're right about the council, they're a sneaky bunch. Don't get me wrong but why do you tell me so much, I might be evil or something"

"Well you saved me from the baby hunting demons, I swear those girls will do anything to take my virginity, no one who saves people from those can be evil, and I think my brother's told me about you, you're the Guardian Angel and Death Demon, and about a million other names but no one knows that they're all the same people, no?"

'Well fuck, he knows, ofcourse he knows Itachi spilled the beans, they're like a married couple'

"Hahaha! This makes my life so much easier, so you know you're in danger?"

"Yeah"

"K, so I'm here to keep you safe among other things but it would be really great if you could keep all that info about me to yourself, I'm aiming for normal genin here."

"Well you sorta blew that with the whole knife on throat thing this morning, you have a nice butt by the way, but only Sakura and Ino noticed, and they tend to forget anything that was an obsticle 'between us' or something, gods the stalkers are creepy." 

"I know! My bunshin just dispelled, it's time for class,"

"K"

\-----------------------------------------------  
Back in class.

The teams left fast, 15 minutes and most were gone, when Naruto had seen Kurenai-chan he had felt his eyes sting a bit, but he had held it in and pretended not to know her. By half and hour all the teams were gone. Kakashi had yet to show. An hour later,Naruto decided to set up a simple yet cunning prank, he took an eraser and discreetly slapped a modified smoke bomb tag on it. Then he set the eraser into the door so that when the sensei opened it it would fall on his head, explode... and turn his hair brilliant Orange with chalk. Unless he actually dodged it but Naruto knew the man was legendarily lazy.

"What do you think you're doing?!! He's a jonin he won't fall for something that stupid" Sakura banchee screeched. She hadn't seen the tag.

"We'll see Sakura-chan" Naruto 

Sure enough an hour and a half later, Sasuke was sitting staring out the window, Uchiha persona on firmily, Sakura was playing with her hair trying to flirt with Sasuke and failing spectacularly, and Naruto had a sketch pad out on which he was theorizing his next seal experiment. He'd been working on how to keep fresh produce longer in seals so he could bring them from outside the village, since he figured that they'd try to poison him sometime soon, not that it would do anything major like kill him,but it would still be a bitch to clear from his system.

He heard the steps coming from the hall, he put away his sketchbook and turned to look at the door, Sasuke looked as well. Sakura was still in her own little world. Then a hand popped up and in came the silver haired jonin. Naruto saw the exact moment the jonin saw the eraser and dismissed the falling object as unharmful and let it fall to his head, he also saw the moment he saw the tag and knew he didn't have time to move. So poof, an orange haired cyclops stood looking unimpressed at the genin, two were shocked and Naruto was cackling on the ground. "My first impression of you, I hate you. Meet me on the roof in five" and he shunshined out of the room.

'He sure hasn't changed much, he's bitchy as fuck'

'At least he isn't and angsty anbu anymore'

'Yeah he grew nicely in the last three years'

The three run up the stairs, well Sasuke and Sakura run, Naruto waits till they make the flight and then jumps the whole thing at once.'it's not laziness I'm conserving energy,' by the time their at the roof Sasuke and Sakura are winded but Naruto is fine so he acts winded too.

Once sitting down around the jonin, whose hair was silver again, 'must have used a wind jutsu' Naruto thought, the jonin talks," so let's start by introducing yourselves, saying names, likes, dislikes, and dreams."

"Why don't you start sensei, to show us how," Sakura asked.

"Ok, I'm Kakashi Hakate, you're too young to know my likes, I don't really dislike much, and my dreams aren't important to know."

"So basically your name is Kakashi and you're a perv?" Naruto couldn't help but ask with innocent looking eyes."

Sakura hits him on the head, which Naruto allowed just for theatrics, to help his mask look super realistic, "baka! He is not a perv! Right sensei?" She gives sensei a smile.

"Suure," 'Lie' Naruto thought, " your turn pinky" Kakashi sensei said

"My name is Sakura Haruno, the person I like is.. (Giggles), I hate Ino-pig and Naruto-baka, and my dream is to.. (Squeal, giggles) .. Marry... have his babies, husband.." She giggled and mumbled other things and the guys all scooted away from the crazed fan.

"Your up broody."

"My name (dramatic pause) is Sasuke Uchiha, I don't have any likes, I dislike many things, I don't have a dream, I have an ambition, my ambition is to kill a certain someone," he says dramatically, real emo king like, internally Naruto is laughing his ass off.

"Alright pretty boy, your turn," Naruto, internally, gave him his best bitch face mentally give him an 'escuuse me?' But he knew what he looked like and frankly this wasn't his first time being called out on his feminine features. But if 'sensei' was going to point him out on it then might as well play with him. Externally, he pouted cutely.

"Hi my name is Naruto Uzumaki, I like gardening, reading, cooking and dancing, I dislike those who underestimate others, those who disciminate others and people who uses pointless violence, my dream is to protect my precious people. Is that it Kakashi-sensei?" He had kept his 'doe eyed' gaze straight on Kakashi sensei's eye the entire time a small smile tugging at his lips when the jonin looked uncomfortable. 

"Right, so meet me tomorrow at training ground 4 for survival training," he said 

"But sensei, we already did survival training," Sakura complained.

"Well, this is the second part of the genin exam, 66% of you class will fail this test, will you three be part of the 9 who pass?"

"EEEHH!" both Naruto and Sasuke cover their ears at Sakura's scream.

"Oh and I recommend not eating breakfast, you'll throw it up, so ground 4 at 6 tomorrow morning. Bye!" 

And he poofed away.

Sasuke left after that unable to stand Sakura anymore, Naruto as well. Sakura was chasing after Sasuke but turns to home when her house's street came up.

Naruto went to his tree house and peeped his tools for tomorrow. 

'What did you think of them Kura?'

'Crazed female is to be avoided at all cost, I wouldn't even eat her in fear of catching the madness. Uchiha'd be interesting if he didn't involve his brother in every other sentence that came out of his mouth, scarecrow's not bad, didn't get enough to really feel him out.'

'That's about what I felt too, he's interesting though, it feels like he's hiding something and not just his face, makes my instincts tingle'

'Don't do something stupid,'

'Course not, ready for tomorrow?'

'Always'

'Gnight foxy'

'Night kit'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flipping hell that was long! But it's done, I was thinking of changing the point of view to first person because it would be more interesting, please comment on that, Kakashi x Naru will be slow. Sasuke talks so much!! Comment on that as well!!

**Author's Note:**

> Super short I know but it's just the beginning, I hope to average my chapters to around 2/3 thousand words. Opinions super welcome!!


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